Missing Planes, Black Holes, Jellyfish And CNN

Boeing 777-200 (Photo credit: caribb)

No doubt you have heard, unless you have been living in a cave somewhere far from media input that the Mayasians have lost a plane, more specifically MH 370. Gone are the days when one can blithely board a jetliner or for that matter a "prop job" with your biggest concerns being the brand of vodka the airline prefers and whether or not your luggage is likely to arrive at the same time you do.

In this day and age of radar, sonar, GPS and satellites that can relay a high definition image of Osama bin Laden's license plate in real time, how the fuck do you lose a plane? This is not a little crop duster that your drunken neighbor borrowed and parked in HIS back forty rather than in YOUR back forty. This is a huge honking Triple Seven with 239 people on board!

Well, it's complicated. For example, was anyone aware that radar is turned off in many poorer far eastern countries purportedly to save on electricity? It is! And did anyone realize that the national pride of the Maylasians is of far more worth than the lives of the people on board or their families? Listening to the various briefings given to families eagerly waiting for news, clamoring news reporters and the requisite number of dignitaries by Transport Minister Hishamuddin Hussein, a grinning imbecile who clearly could not find the cheeks of his own ass with both hands, it is little wonder that the families are enraged and the scientific community perplexed. Hell, I'm perplexed and pissed off and I don't have any relatives who were on board MH 370.

Meanwhile, CNN's Don Lemon speculates that the plane was swallowed up by a black hole, Erin Burnett stutters and stammers her way through an hour long broadcast like a manic on PCP and Anderson Cooper makes his little 'sniffy-faces' in a vain attempt to give the impression he actually gives a shit when sightings of plane wreckage turn out to be jellyfish. So what really happened to that plane and will it ever be found...or will it find us???